How Do You Explain to Relatives Which Update Popups Are Safe to Click?

General
1

How do you explain to relatives which update popups are safe to click without turning every phone call into a remote troubleshooting session? My aunt called while I was unloading groceries because a popup said an update was ready, but she couldn’t tell whether it came from the operating system, an app, or a web page. Last weekend, my uncle sent me a blurry photo of a similar message covering his crossword tab.

I’ve tried explaining that the location and wording matter, but that seems to create more questions than it answers. What simple rule or checklist do you give nontechnical relatives to help them distinguish legitimate update prompts from ads or scams?

2

A real update can wait while you open Settings or the app store yourself; a web-page popup wants you to act right there. That’s the simplest rule I’d teach: never update from a browser message or surprise popup. Close it, then check the device’s Settings > Software Update or the official app store. If the update appears there, install it. If it doesn’t, ignore the original message.

3

The exception was not specified whether the popup appeared in the browser or in the operating system’s tray. Most people, including the user’s relatives, would not know the difference, so it is necessary to explain that if the message contains a countdown, a flashing button, a phone number, or is trying to convince the user that their phone is infected, they should not type anything in the message field and close the browser window or the application.

@devfox4411’s method works, but I’d set up automatic updates too. That removes most of the decisions and cuts down on calls. For anything still uncertain, have them take a screenshot and text it to you. A screenshot is safer than asking them to read the message aloud while they’re hovering over a tempting “Install Now” button.

4

Give them a short script they can follow without deciding whether the popup “looks official”:

  1. Don’t press any button inside the message, including its X.
  2. Go to the Home Screen or lock the device.
  3. If the message returns, close the whole app from the app switcher.
  4. Continue using the device. Check for updates later from the normal update screen.

I would avoid testing it based on the source – whether it appeared in the browser or in the pop-up notification. Some websites can request permission to send you messages, so it may seem more trustworthy than it is – but it could also be a scam. Also, relatives may not remember which app sent the notification.

Testing it with an action that the message encourages them to do would be more reliable. If the message asks them to call a phone number, purchase a subscription, pay for an application, install an application on their device or provide a code for remote control – this is an unmistakable sign of fraud. This also applies to scare tactics, such as giving a few minutes to pay.

Automatic updates reduce the number of real prompts, as @lazyloop said, but I would still teach this procedure because account alerts, browser notifications, and fake security warnings will continue to appear. A screenshot can help, but only after they have stopped touching the popup and removed any personal information from view.

The sentence that I would ask them to remember is, “Updates do not become unsafe because I waited.” This will grant them permission to close the program instead of doing something rash and unfounded, and it turns the call into “I closed it” instead of an in-depth explanation of why the message they were about to click was sketchy.

5

Do not train people to judge based on logic, colors, or fancy text. A fraudulent prompt can be extremely similar to a legitimate one, thus “do you look official to you” is an inadequate test.

I would split all the updates in two categories: the ones user actively searched for and the ones that ambushed them. If they went to the settings, app store, or the update menu in a certain app – let them update. If the message appeared while they were in the middle of a recipe, a game, a conversation, or a website – tell them to dismiss it as an advertisement. System messages can occasionally appear unexpectedly, but there is no harm in closing them and reopening the application normally.

Smartphones and tablets are convenient due to only a couple of update sources: the system itself and the app store. Computers have more update methods: some programs update via their own store while others have a “Check for Updates” button in the settings tab. For unexperienced users, it is better to stick to the global system and avoid everything that requires extra software: “download an updater”, “install a browser extension”, “cleanse drivers”, “scan the system with Java Safety Tool” etc.

I agree with @quantum_gadget282 that urgency is a useful giveaway, but I would not stop at closing the message. Repeated warnings usually mean the browser has notification permission for a junk site, or a questionable app is generating them. Otherwise your relative may follow the rule correctly and still call every afternoon when the same warning returns. Removing that notification permission or uninstalling the source is more work once, but much less work than evaluating each popup forever.

Automatic updates help, but they tend not to kill every prompt. The device could still ask you to reboot, provide more storage, enter a passcode, or approve an update you’ve already downloaded. The helpful comparison is that these prompts stay within a trusted UI context. It doesn’t take you out to a phone number, payment screen, chat UI, or unknown download.

I’d put a note in natural language near the device saying: “Only install updates from screens you’ve opened yourself.” That gives them a choice they can make without having to be able to parse icons, notification types or technical language

6

My mother closes the tab that the real iOS prompt asks on all of the same, including the one she had a problem with. My uncle taps what is flashing or counting down. The same instruction that applies to both of these gets the opposite result, which is why I cannot trust any one of the lists that tell me what to do.

How the word is put with them matters more than the whole chart. As long as my relatives called them all ‘updates’ they were made to feel obligated to deal with them. The second that I started calling the interrupting ones ‘ads’ there was no more pressure. No one feels guilty for ignoring an advertisement. That change did better than any of the steps on the list because all of this scam is based on the mark trying to get them to believe that they are maintaining something when they are really marketing.

I’m with @scriptarchitect8390 that repeated warnings usually mean something is already installed or a junk site has notification permission, and that’s the part most people skip. If you don’t kill the source, your relative follows the rule perfectly and still gets nagged every afternoon, which trains them to eventually tap just to make it stop. So when you visit, spend ten minutes revoking site notification permissions and scanning for any ‘cleaner’ or ‘battery saver’ type app they picked up. On the ‘don’t touch the X’ advice from @quantum_gadget282, it’s right in spirit, but honestly most relatives can’t reliably close an app from the switcher either. For those folks I just tell them to lock the screen and walk away, then hand it to me later. Doing nothing is a skill they can actually pull off under stress.

7

You will certainly not be able to avoid all phone calls, but you can make the answers to them boring and predictable. Give their devices an “update day” — a day (or night) when they charge their phones while they sleep. When they unlock their phones on the update day — that’s when you ask them to open Settings and the App Store, update everything that needs an update, and restart the device. All other notifications that require an immediate response, especially outside the update day, you ask them to “save for later.”

I’m worried that you may label every unsolicited pop-up as an advertisement, as some system alerts also appear unpredictably and some family members may decide to ignore all system alerts from this point forward. I would frame these messages as “reminders, not instructions.” They can lock their screens, finish their tasks, and return to the regular update day procedure. Nothing truly necessary requires an immediate phone call, payment, remote wipe code, or cleaner app download.

The most crucial question in this context would be “Can it wait for the update day?” The answer is almost always yes. This way, you avoid asking them to distinguish between browser windows, notification center banners, fake close buttons, and suspicious logos on suspicious websites.